The Immigrant Driver

August 1st, 2010

The first time I rode shotgun in New Zealand, I was terrified.

But you already know this.

I tried to explain to Keith how scary it was on my side. Thisclose to the mailboxes whizzing past. Thisclose to the concrete barrier on the motorway. Thisclose to being paralyzed for life and eating the rest of my meals through a straw.

He said I’d get used to it.

Riding shotgun that is, not eating through a straw.

I kept pleading with him to drive closer to the center of the lane. He assured me he was in the center of the lane; that it just looked off from my side.

So, I got used to it.

Fast-forward three months. The time is now. Keith is talking to me over the phone while driving home from work.

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You Are The Coffee Ring On The Tablecloth

July 30th, 2010

Today, according to a flyer I picked up at a local restaurant, is National Poetry Day in New Zealand.

In honor of such a day, I’d like to share a poem by my favorite poet, Billy Collins.

He’s funny. And in this poem, he’s actually making light of someone else’s poem. This is, poetically speaking, something like tagging this poor poet’s garage door with neon green spray paint. But that’s just Billy. I know, because we’re friends, in kind of a one-way-friendship sort of way. I’m just waiting to get a call from him at 2am to go toilet paper some other unsuspecting poet’s yard.

Here he is, reading Litany. Enjoy:

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Cheaper By The Kilogram

July 22nd, 2010

I’ve completely fallen behind on updates, I know.

Maybe the weather is to blame, seeing as July usually runs up the tally of rainy, cold and overcast days here in the Southern Hemisphere.

Maybe the immigration guide-book was right, and I’m just now feeling the strain of living overseas.

Maybe I’m sick of wearing the same two-suitcase collection of clothing.

Or maybe it’s because sitting all day in my camping chair makes me grouchy, for various reasons.

Oh yeah, and our container of belongings will be delayed an additional week, projecting the arrival date to end of August. But no big, right? Means I can host an extra week of kung fu class on my wide open wood floors.

Perhaps it was a culmination of the above factors which drove me to neglect my updates. And maybe, it’s also the reason I ordered my groceries online this week.

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If You Came To Visit

July 9th, 2010

If you came to visit me today, you’d find our place very empty and echo-y.

But I’d offer you a seat in one of our two collapsible camping chairs, and serve you tea in a plastic cup.

And you’d smile, and then politely slide your cup in the drink-holder sewn into the arm of the chair.

There we would sit, admiring the large expanse of un-furnished void and contemplating the immeasurability of the universe.

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A World Without The 4th

July 6th, 2010

When I was younger, I remember puzzling over the absence of an elevator button for the 13th floor in my grandma’s condo building.

It was just gone.

There was 12, and there was 14. But no 13.

It was a floor without a name, existing in absolute anonymity. Ignored for the sake of resale value.

Come to think of it, I don’t even think you can say “13th floor” on an elevator without being taken down by the other passengers.

It’s a no-no.

Kind of like celebrating the 4th of July in New Zealand.

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Home Alone

June 29th, 2010

For the last four days, Keith has been out of town at a work-related conference.

You know, playing golf and laughing about secret handshakes and all.

Which of course means I’ve been home alone.

Burglar bait.

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How My iPad Saved Dinner

June 23rd, 2010

Even after Keith handed me a shiny new iPad a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure I needed one.

Eh. What you have to go through when your spouse is addicted to Apple. Am I right?

But as any good wife would, I accepted the gift. I download a few books. I flashed it a few times in public.

And yet, I wasn’t convinced it was adding to my everyday life.

Until tonight.

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I’ve Been Busy

June 20th, 2010

We’re in our long-term rental as of Friday. The people who lived here before us forgot to pack all of the hairballs in our shower drain.

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My First Haka

June 14th, 2010

On Saturday, Keith called me over to the TV to watch the New Zealand Maori team perform the Haka (a Maori war cry) before a rugby match.

Thankfully, I was at a good stopping point in The Gulag Archipelago, in it’s original Russian.

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Around The World In 90 Days

June 9th, 2010

Upon requesting a tracking code for the 20′ container carrying our belongings, we were informed it will not arrive within the 4-6 weeks quoted us by our moving company.

4-6 weeks has turned into 3 months.

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