Cheaper By The Kilogram

July 22nd, 2010

I’ve completely fallen behind on updates, I know.

Maybe the weather is to blame, seeing as July usually runs up the tally of rainy, cold and overcast days here in the Southern Hemisphere.

Maybe the immigration guide-book was right, and I’m just now feeling the strain of living overseas.

Maybe I’m sick of wearing the same two-suitcase collection of clothing.

Or maybe it’s because sitting all day in my camping chair makes me grouchy, for various reasons.

Oh yeah, and our container of belongings will be delayed an additional week, projecting the arrival date to end of August. But no big, right? Means I can host an extra week of kung fu class on my wide open wood floors.

Perhaps it was a culmination of the above factors which drove me to neglect my updates. And maybe, it’s also the reason I ordered my groceries online this week.

I felt a bit lazy, sipping coffee while browsing the grocery store online. But it was empowering really, and easy-breezy. A few hours later, a very polite delivery man set four double-wide milk crates in my entry way and watched as I unpacked.

The first crate was normal.

The second crate was normal.

The third crate was mostly full of peanut butter jars.

The fourth crate was mostly full of ground beef and garlic cloves.


Had my personal shopper gone rogue?

I went back to check my receipt against the delivery packing slip and apparently I had shopped like a mother of ten. I had somehow mistyped a few of my quantities, or miscalculated the size of a kilogram. And since a trip to the store with a Kiwi dollar will always look more pricy than I’m accustomed too, the total hadn’t tipped me off.

The packing slip included a little note from my personal shopper:

“Thank you for shopping online, hope the sub is ok, have a fantastic week. Wendy (smily face).”

She had subbed an alternate brand of taco seasoning. Clearly, she did not want to upset a mother of ten too busy to go to the grocery store, crafting mounds of hamburgers, naked tacos, and peanut butter balls. A mother of ten deathly afraid of vampires.

But the old-fashioned kind of vampire repelled by garlic, clearly pre-Twilight.

Keith and I discussed returning a few of the items, but decided the hassle would void the entire point of shopping for groceries online. Instead, we’ll have a well-stocked freezer and pantry for the next few months.

This one will just have to be a “learning” for next time.

If there is a next time.

  • I’ll be looking forward to hearing about your recipes involving said hamburger, garlic, and peanut butter.

    I’m salivating just thinking about it.

  • I’m so glad you ordered online! I’m really curious to try it out, so it’s good to know that you survived your shopping experience 🙂 That is so funny about the extra quantities, ha ha! But you’re right – at least now you have a very well-stocked freezer!

  • Just laughed–a lot. I order for the market from this wretched online service and am *always* accidentally ordering 8 crates of cranberry juice instead one box of 8 containers. So funny.

  • I can taste a first meal in Auckland now…garlic peanut butter burgers…mmm. Another take on Pan-Asian haute cuisine.

  • It is just me, or does a garlic peanut butter burger actually sound like it could be quite tasty if done right? Perhaps if you pair it with a nice mildly tangy BBQ sauce and a glass of red wine (LOTS of red wine…).

  • I knew you were a talented designer from turning your creations into web sites – but I didn’t know you are also a wonderful writer. Love your wry sense of humor! Sounds like it is serving you well in getting through the frustrations of your transplant to New Zealand. Wishing you an early furniture arrival…

  • I heart online shopping. Unfortunately, my husband (who is a Kiwi) balks at the (very reasonable) delivery charge, so I don’t often get to stock up pantry and cupboard from my laptop. Boo!

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